Narcissistic injury is one of those loaded psychological terms. In fact, all things narcissistic seem to be. I think that is because the word narcissism or narcissistic is generally used to describe pathology and not the over-arching reality that everyone with an ego (everyone) is a narcissist.
Narcissistic defenses are present to some degree in all people, but are especially pervasive in narcissists. These defenses are used to protect the narcissist from experiencing the feelings of the narcissistic injury. – StudyWorld
Ego identity, the false self, or whatever you want to call it, is fundamentally a case of mistaken identity. The “I” or “me” involved in this case of mistaken identity is self-centered and self-promotional.
Narcissists cannot love others because they don’t love their TRUE self. They “love” a fiction – the FALSE SELF. They are full of feelings of inferiority and self-loathing and they are very sadistic and self-punishing when they incur a narcissistic injury (when they “fail”). You can’t love others if you do not love yourself. Moreover, narcissists do not understand what it means to be human (i.e., they lack empathy). To them other people are bi-dimensional, cartoon, cardboard cutouts, or, at most, an audience. Others are FUNCTIONS, INSTRUMENTS, EXTENSIONS. They, therefore, cannot be loved for what THEY ARE but only for WHAT THEY PROVIDE. This is no real love. Sam Vaknin
Narcissistic injury can be understood at a more macro level to be the wounding that occurs from not being seen or not being heard. Narcissistic injury, when experienced at its root, is the most painful wound in the soul – the wound of disconnection from True Nature.
The narcissist says, “I exist.” A narcissistic injury is you showing him that he does not exist in your life. Kicking him in the teeth and telling him he is a jerk is not a narcisstic injury– because he must therefore exist.
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