I used to work with a bunch of guys who were raised to believe that men were meant to be strong and unemotional – unless they were cussing and angry, which were acceptable expressions of male superiority. In fact, I was one of those guys. It’s hard not be with all of the conditioning thrown at us.
I guess growing up in the 50’s & 60’s we had two choices depending on our sex – macho or Barbie. I never met a guy in my youth that wanted to grow up and be Ken. The thing with conditioning is that we rarely question it in a deep way. The deeper the conditioning, the more it feels like an unquestionable part of us. It can be hard to imagine a life outside of our norms. In fact, a large part of our mental activity is always being spent in maintaining the status quo.
I started taking yoga classes this week as part of my new direction toward health & fitness. At 60, I decided I would commit myself to actualizing some goals I have been paying lip service to for too many years. One goal being more flexibility for this aging body.
Yoga is interesting. There’s a constant reminder from the instructor for strength and relaxation at the same time – yin & yang. Unlike my conditioning which mostly emphasized the yang and diminished the yin.
Of course, that created a lot of problems that are still being sorted out. As I watch young boys and girls interact, I see the conditioning is still as active as ever. I was observing some high school students interact the other day in a couple of different situations. The boys were being inconsiderate and callous towards the girls and the girls were all a giggle and accepting of it.
All human beings are born with a range of emotional ground that far exceeds where most of us find ourselves as adults. We move, emotionally, in a very constricted range of experience – like a 60-year old body that hasn’t been stretched regularly through the years.
Laying on the yoga mat and moving through the poses brings many opportunities to me:
Working on increasing flexibility
Developing focus and concentration
Attending to the moment and letting the daily mind go
Embodying strength and relaxation in the same moment
Allowing the superego to take a 90-minute break
Men seem to be greatly outnumbered by women in yoga classes – which also seems to be the case in personal growth work. I think that says a lot about male conditioning.
Is Time-Blocking Recommended for Beings of Timelessness?
I woke up with the title of this post in my mind. I have no idea where it came from – perhaps timelessness. I recall it being in one of my dreams, but there it was in my mind as I re-entered my time-space consciousness. I let it roll around in my brain for a while to see what it would generate.
The first generation of thought was around a friend of mine, Janel, that teaches a course every now and then on “Essential Time Management.” The course is directed toward people on spiritual paths who incorporate a daily spiritual practice into their lives and are trying to integrate the affairs of this world into a life that is more oriented toward living in the NOW – Timelessness – than remaining stuck in the conditioning and confines of the space-time continuum.
These days if one is attempting to Be In the World, but Not of IT, essential time-blocking may support one’s effort in the direction of living in Presence, the NOW and Timelessness – a boundless dimension of experience that challenges the belief in oneself as a separate entity.
The next impression to arise in my mind was of people with beeping watches. You know the type – they have their watches set to beep on the hour or half hour to remind themselves of some goal – perhaps being mindful – who knows. I can’t swear to it, but it seems that the majority of them tune out the hourly beep after all – it fading into the background with all the other white noise of life.
But then that led to a thought of setting the beep to occur in ever smaller and smaller increments of time until one’s realm of experience was reduced to the NOW or Timelessness.
It was at this point that I rolled out of bed, went to meditate, then onto my morning stretches and finally into my day that was overloaded with projects and “to dos” – a list that never ends. Thus, in spite of my attempts to remain mindful and concentrate on the most important things needing attention – the day ended as countless others before it – in desperate need of a consciousness receptive to time-blocking in a universe only a stone’s throw from timelessness.
I woke up today (Friday, April, 23, 2010) at 3:45am – not an unusual occurrence. I was feeling better, emotionally & physically, than I had in several weeks (long story). Sent my sister in Petoskey, MI a quick text and then off to my meditation chair to begin the day.
A great meditation was had by all – what’s that mean? Well, my body was more relaxed, my mind more settled and focused, my sense of me was more fluid and transparent, and reality seemed light & playful – if I may be so bold to say so 12 hours later.
I’m about halfway to my BNI meeting, driving down I-680 from Danville to Pleasanton, when I realize – I’m feeling optimistic!
This kind of surprised me – to the point where I had to ask myself what is optimism? Here’s what the dictionary says:
op·ti·mism
–noun
a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
the belief that good ultimately predominates over evil in the world.
the belief that goodness pervades reality.
the doctrine that the existing world is the best of all possible worlds.
Well, I didn’t have my dictionary handy, only my experience that my mind was associating the word optimism with. So, I checked in with my experience to see what was happening that felt like optimism. Two things dominated my experience: 1) a sense of openness and 2) a perception of the good everywhere.
It seemed impossible to look anywhere and not feel optimistic. And you know what? Twelve hours later, optimism is everywhere. I’m running off to the gym feeling very optimistic – about nothing in particular, but everything in general!
Life was never meant to be a struggle. Just a gentle progression from one point
to another, much like walking through a valley on a sunny day. – Stuart Wilde
I think this quote by Stuart Wilde bears some reflection. I don’t think it is the nature of life to be a walk in the park. If we observe the natural order of life, survival requires a great deal of effort on the part of most living things.
I think much of the emotional and psychological struggle we human beings engage in can be lessened a great deal, but we’re still going to have to put forth effort to bring home the bacon or tofurkey.
Zen is a school of Mah?y?na Buddhism, translated from the Chinese word Chán to Japanese. This word is in turn derived from the Sanskrit dhy?na, which means “meditation” (Wikipedia).
Zen emphasizes experiential prajñ?, particularly as realized in the form of meditation, in the attainment of enlightenment. As such, it de-emphasizes theoretical knowledge in favor of direct, experiential realization through meditation and dharma practice.
I enjoy hearing “zen” reified.” What is a “zen-like” life? Is it tranquil, unruffled and void of upsetting influences? Is 8 hours at a day spa with candles, hot rocks, wine and the works a moment of zen?
Without heart, we are not really human. And the possibility of having an authentic and deeply satisfying human life is only a pipe dream when our love is not directed to what truly fulfills the heart. To find true fulfillment, many of us at some point in life turn to the spiritual search. But what is it in spirituality that gives this fulfillment? Where does this deep satisfaction come from?
Peace is the ability to accept and embrace conflict and not be threatened by it and thereby to use it in the interests of life. - David Spangler
I’ve always been fascinated by violent people waging war for peace. The human psyche is filled with much more rage and hatred that most of us are willing to see – thank God for the unconscious mind!
I’m working my way through a 6-CD set interview by Tami Simon with A. H. Almaas, originator of the Diamond Approach.
A.H. Almaas, whose writings brilliantly illustrate the unity of modern depth psychology and traditional spiritual wisdom, is a respected, pioneering teacher. Jack Kornfield has called him “one of the most significant voices for a new and remarkably integrated spiritual vision.”
Now for the first time ever, Almaas is creating with Sounds True an accessible audio introduction to his lifetime of work. Called The Diamond Approach, this program features insights refined from Almaas’ 30 years of teaching including how he has helped thousands around the globe “do the work” by investigating reality, developing emotional wholeness, uncovering their true essence, and realizing the non-duality of being.
I’ve only listened to the first disc. Tami Simon is a great interviewer. Her questions are very insightful and I expect this will be the best interview of Almaas I have ever heard. It certainly is one of the clearest introductory elucidations of the Diamond Approach that is in the world.
My friend and author, Geneen Roth, made Oprah’s must read list:
Week of March 19, 2010 The Book Oprah Wants Everyone to Read
What are you hungry for? Hint: It’s not food. In fact, it’s everything but food. Oprah calls Geneen Roth’s provocative new book, Women, Food and God, a must-read. Learn the self-defeating truths about dieting and the path to a full and healthy life.
I used to work with a bunch of guys who were raised to believe that men were meant to be strong and unemotional – unless they were cussing and angry, which were acceptable expressions of male superiority. In fact, I was one of those guys. It’s hard not be with all of the conditioning thrown at us.
