Open-Secrets

Month: February 2012

  • Turning Toward the Truth

    Reversing the Mirror of Perception

    turn toward the truthMaking the turn toward the real, reality, the truth, True Nature, God…. however you refer to that most sublime, all encompassing life force, is, for most of us, not an easy or simple thing. For most of us, it’s a process – a process of continual unfoldment as we turn, turn again, and again and again.

    Turning toward the truth usually involves many instances of falling asleep, choosing a goody or two over the truth, the occasional inertia or better idea that takes us back to our habits, familiar life or comfort zone. Our ruts are deep, which leads us to believe that it takes effort to abide in the truth. It takes effort to get out of the ruts and increase our capacity for the truth – until the truth grabs us by the heart or dazzles our minds in a manner that the gravity of our ego life begins to ease up.

    Another form of turning again and again toward the truth involves discovering and revelation as what we once thought of as “the” truth broadens and deepens. So, we continue to turn toward the truth as we are opened up and refined.

    Fundamentally, turning toward the truth means reversing the mirror. The quest for reality or the life of truth is something to be gained. It’s not something we are going to achieve and put into practice in our life. The truth is the life. What we bring to the truth is our little ego-life – which seems pretty big and significant to us, since it includes everything we see and believe.

    Turning toward the truth means bringing our life – moment by moment – to the truth, living in accordance and alignment with how we know the truth. What we read last night that hit home, what we learned in a workshop last weekend, what we experienced in our work sessions or daily practice – we bring that to the truth by applying it and living it in our daily lives.

    I’m not not talking theory here. I’m talking rubber meeting the road, walking the talk – and not in an easy way, but in a life or death way. No room for excuses or the champion (judge, jury and executioner) of excuses the superego / inner critic.

    Turning toward the truth means reclaiming my aggression if I’m aggression intolerant, standing my ground or staying the course if I’m weak-kneed — all-in-all — no matter what our conditioning, turning toward the truth involves a vulnerability far exceeding what we thought thought was needed when our heart or mind was touched by that first scent of the real that set us seeking.

    All my life seeking

    Answers, insight, meaning

    Never here

    For a second

    Thinking about here

    I’m elsewhere

    Poor creature

    Here is vulnerability

    Beyond imagining

  • The Life & Death of Suicide

    The Agony, Loss, Suffering, Sadness, Emptiness & Perhaps Peace of Suicide

    suicide roseRecently, two of my business peers suicided in the same week.

    My main source of income comes through Internet Marketing and specifically helping my brother and his wife with their real estate business in San Ramon, CA. It was a sad day when I heard that a friend and real estate colleague who I admired and liked had committed suicide. It took me aback as he always seemed so positive and he did so much to help others. According to friends, he had a history of depression and had recently broken up with a woman he was madly in love with. He went to his storage shed and put a gun to his head.

    A few days later, I heard that another Realtor and colleague had also committed suicide. It seems his financial challenges brought him to a point of despair and hopelessness that led to suicide.

    These aren’t my first intersections with suicide or death. In my family, suicide has always been frowned upon and carried a stigma of cowardice and personal deficiency.  I think my father contributed most to this attitude, which isn’t surprising being the military man he was – heavy on judgment and short on compassion and empathy.

    As I reflected on the loss of these two friends, the lives and circumstances they left, and the shock felt in the local communities, I recalled the times I had felt so despondent and hopeless that thoughts of suicide entered my brain. As a teen, I think I had more than a few thoughts of suicide as I went through periods of inadequacy and feeling like nobody gave a damn about me and that my presence would not be missed. Those moments of angst were imbued with a distorted sense of martyrdom.

    As an adult, I once followed a stream of suicidal thought into a very dark place. It was that exploration that helped me to see the value of deep psychological and emotional exploration. That inquiry has served me well as I have encountered other times when depression, emptiness and hopelessness seemed all-consuming.

    What I notice with these two recent suicides is loss, sadness, love and appreciation for two very different, but the same, friends. I notice that my everyday separating boundaries become porous and the experience is more we than me and them. I am blessed to recognize no sense of judgment from my past conditioning.

    There’s a lot of sweetness and appreciation for us all.

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