Month: February 2011

  • Time Travel & Contentment

    Traveling in Time
    A Contented State of Mind

    time travelerMy brother-in-law, Iver, often quotes me – “Things Change!” It seems they have when it comes to time travel for me.

    After 33 years working for a major airline, I retired with little interest in traveling. Now I find myself traveling back and forth between Michigan and California on a regular basis and time seems to fly along with me. I’ve also noticed that time flies when I am driving. Driving across country, down to Chicago, up from Detroit, or just an hour to Traverse City seems like just aother moment in time.

    My experience is making me more and more curious about time, traveling and what is going on with me that seems to result in time flying.

    One thing I notice – my mindset is often that I have all the time in the world. These days, I rarely have some moment in time, the future, tied to my travel plans. I get up and go and figure – I’ll get there when I get there. A 4 or 5 hour flight used to be a pain in the old butt – literally – you know those airline seats – not enough padding, not enough room, and not enough ergonomics for most of us.

    At a 10-day retreat last year, I saw a friend of mine had a gel cushion that looked like it would be great for traveling. I purchased one and now travel through time with it. But, it’s not the extra padding that seems to be shrinking the time, aggravation, and effort associated with my traveling.

    This new sense of ease and contentment seems connected to “being with” what is happening in the moment. In hindsight, my travels these days often seem trance-like – did I just drive/fly 5 hours?? I remember the details: working the crossword, the sudoku, listening to music, etc., but the time involved seems to have flown by or compressed itself into some intra-subjective wormhole of a space.

    Perhaps one day this will all change again, but until then traveling is not as big a pain in the ass as it used to be, nor, it seems, am I to those who help me to travel through time.

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  • ING Challenges Reification Through Dialectic Inquiry

    Dialect Inquire Reveals Everything is LivING

    Last week, I was engaging in some open-ended dialectic inquiry with a friend when she looked at a table and said tabling? We were discussing how everything in existence has dynamism and she through the ING on table to express that dynamism of the table. (more…)

  • Men and Relationship – Is There a Problem Officer?

    I Am a Man – What’s YOUR Problem Lady?

    Men Women RelationshipsSunday night I was talking to a friend about her current relationship difficulties. Seems her current beau, let’s call him Jim, is very excited about her and is pushing for a more permanent relationship.

    Tuesday morning another friend called saying she needed some relationship advice.

    Don’t ask me why they think I know anything. I’m a walking testament to the wonder of how men can make life so difficult for so many. Over the years, I’ve managed to make significant progress, but I fear the grave may grab me before I compete the work.

    Anyhow, my Tuesday friend’s current relationship happens to also be with a – let’s call him Jim. If I hadn’t met one of these guys already, my first suspicion would be that Jim is getting around quite a bit – these two friends live 2500 miles apart.

    Two different Jims, same MO – social conditioning about the male gender model coupled with other assorted psychodynamic content and arrested development creating havoc in the present moment. The main issue with both Jims is that they seem to only be interested in their wants and needs. According to my friends, they both feel unseen and not heard. The guys seem locked in their patterns and somehow believe their happiness is happiness for all concerned – a little narcissistic if you ask me.

    Of course I’m speaking from my history.

    Both of my friends are concerned about hurting Jim’s feelings. Jims are nice guys, they just don’t get it. Jims are willing to change, but they don’t seem motivated to do so unless it means getting what they want. How much real change do you suppose will happen within such a confined space?

    My advice to both friends was – What is it about you that keeps you in a frustrating relationship? What are you getting out of it? What are you anxious about – afraid of losing?

    coyote howlingInterestingly enough, both reported that their relationship with Jim reminded them of their relationship with their father.

    Men
    Stop howling at the moon
    Now that she has your attention
    And you recognize your longing
    Surrender to her silver mystique
    Let beauty and mystery
    Work a sublime magic upon you
    That shyness you feel
    Is only the surface
    relationship adviceOf a deep tenderness in the soul
    On the dark side of the moon
    A blood red rose
    Is blooming

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